i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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