I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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