My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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