now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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