Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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