Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
