he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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