dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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