Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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