No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
