I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
