Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
should my penis look like a turkey
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize