So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize