so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
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"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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