batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
