Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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