All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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