I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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