wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
