DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
