Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
40s are totally the cure
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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