It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
