theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
