he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
