still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
