How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
