Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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