you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
