I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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