My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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