He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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