I wish I only lived at night.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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