I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize