margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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