We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize