As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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