Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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