if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
