Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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