You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
