i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
