Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
