She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
