And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I AM VODKA MAN
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
tell me about the eggs
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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