I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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