I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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