Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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