This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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