youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
