No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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