Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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