that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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