I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize