His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
