At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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