Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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