Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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