Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
