She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize