Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
