he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
