Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners

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(226): View more from Ontario

This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(212): View more from New York

we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy

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(705): View more from Ontario

I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...

(718): View more from New York

What do herpes have to do with anything?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."

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(630): View more from Illinois

It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.

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