You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love