There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
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Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize