Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
