I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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