I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
